


Just not there yet

by volfai



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Pining, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 07:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17341577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volfai/pseuds/volfai
Summary: Jooheon and Changkyun drive home for the holidays together. It doesn't go as planned.'He didn’t exactly have an excuse to get out of the car now. What’d he even say?Hey Changkyun, I just remembered I’m super gay for you and I won’t survive this trip, could you perhaps pull over?Definitely not.'





	Just not there yet

Jooheon wasn’t sure why he’d thought this was a good idea.

When Changkyun offered him a ride when talking about going home for the holidays, he’d enthusiastically agreed. He didn’t have a driver’s license and he felt guilty about having his aunt pick him up; she was kind enough to let him stay over for the holidays instead of wasting away in his dorm room like a hermit. He still remembered the Christmas two years ago, when that _was_ the case. He had offhandedly mentioned the amount of pizza he’d eaten in those days to his father; his father might’ve been less offended if he took it upon himself to personally insult every member of their family. But alas, his parents were once again gone for the holidays, to visit his little brother who was studying practically on the other side of the world. This time, he’d been shipped off to his aunt.

Either way, Jooheon’s aunt lived a few miles out from Changkyun’s hometown, so Changkyun assured him it wasn’t a problem. Changkyun was a year under Jooheon in university, but they’d met via Jooheon’s roommate, Hyungwon,  who took some extra first year classes. Coupled with the fact that Hyungwon had a tendency to invite friends over while still being out himself, leaving Jooheon to awkwardly let them in, they’d hung out a few times. Jooheon considered him a friend, and he was pretty sure that Changkyun did too. He hoped so, at least, because they were in for an awkward fifteen hours if not.

But, the problem was mostly that Changkyun was also really fucking hot. Probably straight and probably out of Jooheon’s league, but those were things that you forgot if you not-so-subtly stared at your crush for a solid ten hours while in an enclosed space. He can’t believe Hyungwon didn’t warn him about this; advising your dumb roommate against a road trip with his crush should at least be included in the roommate 101, right? Then again, Hyungwon probably liked seeing him suffer, seeing as he seemed to stay out later whenever he’d invited Changkyun over and bailed on lunches with the three of them. He was going to kick Hyungwon’s ass when he got back.

Sadly, Jooheon only came to this conclusion after he already packed all his stuff into Changkyun’s Toyota and they’d spent a solid hour getting out of town. He didn’t exactly have an excuse to get out of the car now. What’d he even say? _Hey Changkyun, I just remembered I’m super gay for you and I won’t survive this trip, could you perhaps pull over?_ Definitely not. He was just trying to recall that one instruction video he saw about jumping out of a moving car, when Changkyun spoke.

‘So, what are your plans exactly, at your aunt’s? You guys close?’

‘I suppose so?’ Jooheon answered. ‘She’s kind of hard to read, honestly. She came over to our house when my parents went to help my brother settle in for a month, but she’d just be nowhere to be found for a few hours per day. She always came back around for dinner time, though.’

‘Have you ever found out what she was doing?’

‘I think it’s something to do with cats. When she left to go back home, there was this black cat that always sat in front of our back door around 5. The cat would stare at me for half an hour and then just straight up vanish. He always looked super disapproving.’ Changkyun snorted.

‘A disapproving cat? What, did he frown his eyebrows at you?’

‘Hey! You didn’t see the look in his eyes. I think my aunt made him haunt me until I felt guilty enough to do something productive.’

‘A wonder, honestly.’

Jooheon smiled. It was easy to slip into this kind of banter with Changkyun. Maybe he’d survive this.

‘What about you? Is your whole family coming home?’ Jooheon asked.

‘Yeah, sadly. It means my brother is bringing his dickwad fiancée.’

‘The one that keep calling your biology major useless?’

‘The one and only. Honestly, it would be one thing if she’d be doing maths or something, but she studied archaeology! Who cares about _dead_ plants? Not me, that’s for sure.’

‘…yet you still judge my plant-watering skills.’

‘Look, they could’ve been alive, Jooheon. It hurts me to see them like that. You just can’t take care of anything.’

‘As if you can. Remember why Miya left you?’

‘Ouch, low blow.’ Changkyun tried to shrug it off, but Jooheon could see his grip on the steering wheel tighten. Changkyun’s break up with Miya had happened under kind of vague circumstances, nobody really discovering the exact reason for it. Either way, this wasn’t exactly the time or place to ask about that.

Changkyun reached over to turn their playlist up. Jooheon mentally facepalmed.

* * *

They were so lost.

Twenty minutes of awkward silence, a near fight over whether to skip Despacito or not, and a very detailed conversation about Changkyun’s dog later, they were supposed to be about one third to their destination. That is, following their usual route. Their usual exit was shut off, however, and they had to take a detour. It was all fun and games back then (mainly quoting the ‘Road work ahead?’ vine multiple times), but Jooheon really didn’t know where they currently were. Google Maps placed them in the middle of a forest; the direction marker just kept doing this weird thing where it kept spinning around whenever they tried to drive in a direction.

‘You’d really think that they’d be more clear about the alternative route.’ Jooheon said, like he hadn’t mentioned this several times already.

‘I’m gonna sue the state when we get out of here.’ Changkyun deadpanned, ever consistent.

After driving in the wrong (or right?) direction again, Jooheon sighed.

‘Look, let’s just get out of the car and chill here for a bit. It’s about time that we eat something anyway.’ Changkyun looked reluctant, but stopped the car down the side of the road. The area was less dense with trees; perhaps they’d get proper GPS signal here. After getting their lunch out of the car and bundling up, they stepped out. 

‘Isn’t December supposed to be the shitty autumn month that everyone associates with snow because of capitalism? Not like, actual snowstorm warning cold?’ Changkyun said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He looked cute, nose slowly turning red from the cold, wrapped up in a gigantic seemingly handmade scarf. Jooheon snorted and plumped down on a fallen tree.

‘Don’t even talk about snowstorms, dude. If we get caught in one, I will actually cry.’

‘It’ll be fine, honestly. We should be back in a few hours, that’s not enough for an actual storm to stir up.’ Jooheon laughed nervously. He sure hoped so.

‘Hey, wait. Do you really dislike storms that much?’ Changkyun asked, looking at him with a concerned look in his eyes.

‘It’s… yeah. I’d really rather not get hurt, you know? That sounds dumb, of course I don’t want to end up in the hospital, but I promised my parents to be safe. I really don’t want to worry them,’ Jooheon looked up, choosing to avoid Changkyun’s eyes, ‘They struggle enough with leaving me to visit my brother, and I don’t want to make them feel like they made the wrong choice.’

‘We’re going to be alright, Jooheon.’ Changkyun replied, in a low voice. Jooheon could feel his heavy stare, before Changkyun sighed. ‘As soon as we get out of this forest, for God’s sake.’ Jooheon smiled despite himself, glad the moment passed. It felt too big to discuss fleetingly during their lunchbreak.

‘Maybe you should climb a tree to get better signal. You know, like in the movies? I’ll just sit here, and eat lunch. Maybe film it to send to Hyungwon later.’

‘Thanks for the offer! I hate it.’ Changkyun said, sitting down next to Jooheon and helping himself to a sandwich. Jooheon munched on one as well and took the time to properly appreciate the area. It was currently too cold to be comfortable, but he could imagine that it’d make a cute picknick spot during spring. They were sitting at the edge of a small clearing, surrounded by various bare trees. The earth was still covered with soft moss, adding some green to the landscape. He could faintly hear the rushing of water in the distance, promising a river to swim around in too.

‘Changkyun?’ Changkyun hummed in response, mouth filled with a too-big bite of his sandwich.

‘We should come back here, when the weather’s better. Maybe go camping or something.’ Jooheon only realised what his offer sounded like when it left his mouth. He briefly considered finding that river and just jumping in. ‘If you want to! We can invite Hyungwon too, or, like,  Hoseok, the one from Hotshots?’ 

Changkyun just look at him amusedly. ‘Sure.’

* * *

A good hour later, they were back on track. Jooheon had, in fact, found that river, but they’d used it as an orientation point to get them out of the woods instead. The trip went by pretty fluidly from then on, being able to follow the usual route. Changkyun didn’t have much focus left for anything but the road, so Jooheon found himself studying his profile unabashedly. He wasn’t sure what about Changkyun had attracted him initially. Sure, his eyebrows were really good, just like his pretty brown eyes and soft jawline, but Jooheon  fell for someone’s vibes more often than appearance. Maybe it was the awkward but kind smile Changkyun gave him when he’d let him in for the first time. Maybe the sarcastic comments Changkyun had thrown at Hyungwon when he finally showed up, 20 minutes later. The first time he’d heard him laugh out loud,  the time he’d looked reluctant to leave Jooheon and go through with his original plans.

Perhaps it was the first dinner Hyungwon bailed on, when he found Changkyun staring at his phone with tears in his eyes because he’d been watching the video of his brother’s proposal. Despite claiming he disliked his fiancée, Changkyun supported their relationship more than anything. He showed the video to Jooheon too, making it so that there were now two dudes crying at a table in Olive Garden.

He, at least, knew for sure he was a goner when Hyungwon off-handedly mentioned Changkyun’s new girlfriend. His heart had clenched as Changkyun introduced Miya and Jooheon wished them all the best. Even Hyungwon noticed to how strained the whole interaction was, confronting him later that night. Hyungwon had just slapped him on the back and handed him a beer after Jooheon spilled the details on his crush. Then he’d taken him out into town and played wingman all night.

He knew crushing on a taken, straight guy was just setting yourself up to be hurt. Still, whenever he tried to get himself to fall for someone else, he’d just find his thoughts drifting back to a certain brown-eyed boy. Hyungwon did his best to help out, even showing up on time when he’d invite Changkyun over. Changkyun didn’t seem to read into it, however, jokingly complaining that he was seeing Jooheon less and trying to set up lunch with the three of them. Hell, if anything, it felt like he was trying to grow closer to Jooheon.

Then, about two months ago, Changkyun and Miya broke up under slightly dubious circumstances. Jooheon had really tried his best to feel sad about it for Changkyun, but the amount of time spent listening to his own heartbreak playlist decreased exponentially. Changkyun said that he’d been dumped for being a bad boyfriend, but Hyungwon said that Miya looked a bit too upset if she truly was just a haughty girlfriend. Either way, Hyungwon had taken this as a sign that he could continue his matchmaking, sending them off on badly-disguised dates. Perhaps this was the only time Jooheon felt glad that Changkyun was straight, as he didn’t notice Hyungwon’s obvious attempts to set them up.

All that led to Jooheon being lulled into a false sense of security, which made him do stupid things. Like go on a road trip with Changkyun, and then get caught up on the fact that Changkyun accepted his offer for a camping trip. Is that what bros do? Go to the forest together when the weather’s nice? Maybe have a picnic on one of those checkered mats and then go for a swim in the river. (Jooheon has to forcibly stop himself from thinking about the whole half naked, soaking wet thing too hard.) They would finish the day with a campfire and then go to sleep in the tent, where Jooheon might not be a such a fucking wimp and reach out for Changkyun.

Oh well. Changkyun’s straight, anyway. Might as well daydream about it.

* * *

‘Jooheon?’ Changkyun called softly, waking Jooheon from his nap. He was confused for a few seconds when he looked outside, the sky having turned black. That didn’t exactly tell him much, for the daylight hours were just straight-up shit this time of year, but he supposed they should’ve nearly be home. Looking at Google Maps, however, it seemed like they still had a good eight hours to go, having spent so much time lost.

‘What’s up?’ Jooheon asked, his voice rough while he stretched. He didn’t mean to fall asleep, especially not for so long. He felt bad to make Changkyun stay awake on his own, honestly.

‘I’m pulling over for coffee. I think we’re gonna be driving all evening, considering the distance left and the darkness. I’ve got to drive slower, with the lack of streetlights up ahead.’ Changkyun said, his voice sounding weary. Getting lost had taken a lot out of them. It was fine at first, until they got frustrated and started fighting over nothing, argumentative words at every turn. It’d stopped when they got back on the highway, but maybe it wasn’t too bad that Jooheon fell asleep in the end. Now, though, Jooheon agreed, helping Changkyun find the nearest exit to buy cheap gas station coffee. The station’s clerk looked them over and immediately turned to the coffee machine.

‘Here. It’s on the house.’ They smiled gratefully, though Jooheon was slightly concerned that they must look really bad to elect that kind of pity. Then again, they were both wearing crinkled clothing, Jooheon could feel his eyes turning red from wearing his contact lenses for too long and Changkyun’s hair was standing up in all directions from running his hand through it so often.  Not exactly the put together people they’d left college as this morning.

Changkyun closed his eyes for a few minutes while they sat down at a table, leaving Jooheon to find the bathroom to take out his contacts and splash some water in his face. Road trips were only fun in theory, he decided. He was sure Changkyun was getting exhausted, and the nap hadn’t seemed to help Jooheon’s state either. The next hours were not going to be nice, and Jooheon would just be happy when he was finally home.

Changkun smiled weakly when Jooheon got back. Jooheon took another look at the dishevelled mess that was Changkyun’s hair and reached over to smooth it out. He was too tired to stop himself, and Changkyun just seemed to lean into his touch. He’d analyse it when he was awake; now he just sipped his coffee. They got another cup to go and texted their families that they’d be later than expected. His aunt wished him a safe trip and mentioned that she’d leave some dessert in the fridge for him, making Jooheon smile.

* * *

‘Are you fucking with me?’ growled Jooheon, looking at the weather alert Changkyun’s brother had texted them. Sure enough, little snowflakes were drifting down from the sky. Currently, it were only a few white dots that melted once they touched the ground, but the alert warned for a storm. He must have jinxed it when they talked about it in the woods. Changkyun looked just as pissed off as Jooheon felt, but his words were still hopeful.

‘It’ll pass soon. Meteorology isn’t that accurate, usually.’

‘I seriously doubt that. Either way, it’s snowing already; it’s only a matter of time before it won’t melt away, and then we can’t continue driving like this.’

‘Yes, we can.’

‘Sorry, what? Changkyun, I swear to god. We are not driving through the snow and the dark, especially not while you’re exhausted.’ It wasn’t just that; the road was treacherous, more dangerous than the earlier highways they travelled on. It was practically completely dark except for their headlights and the occasional oncoming car. Combined with deceptive turns just as they’d start going downhill, they couldn’t risk not paying full attention.

‘What can we do?  Pull over and get snowed in, possibly freeze to death? I want to be home, Jooheon.’

‘Yeah, don’t we all,’ Jooheon snapped, ‘We won’t _get_ home if we keep driving!’

‘It’s my car, I’ll judge if it’s safe, for God’s sake!’  Somehow, they were both shouting now. Jooheon didn’t want to fight with Changkyun, but hyped up on coffee, exhaustion and fear, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. There was more snow falling around them now, a thin layer forming on the ground.

‘Then your judgement is wrong, Changkyun! Look around you for a few seconds.’

‘Great! Thanks for coming along and criticizing my decisions. I’ll sure give you a ride another time then.’ Changkyun probably didn’t mean it, but it still stung.

‘It’s not safe, Changkyun. Look, the snow’s becoming more every second.’

‘It’ll be _fine_!’ Changkyun shouted. Jooheon was somewhere between livid and about to cry. He dragged a hand down his face and took his phone out.

‘Look, there’s a motel at the next exit. Let’s spend the night there. This is way too dangerous.’

‘Jooheon, it’s just a few hours until we’re-’

‘No. Changkyun. I fucking meant it when I said I’d start crying if a snowstorm started.’  Jooheon’s voice cracked. Changkyun opened his mouth to retaliate, but he shut it once he properly processed the sentence. He still looked mad, but he pulled over at the exit, the snow continuing to pile up. Jooheon quietly wiped away the tears that has begun to stream down his face.

* * *

Jooheon was so glad he’d managed to convince Changkyun. All hell seemed to break loose the moment they turned into the nearly full parking lot. They grabbed their backpacks and ran inside, where a receptionist was –just barely– awake.

‘We’d like to book a room for the night.’ Changkyun said, taking out his wallet.

‘Two people?’ They nodded and the receptionist looked at their computer screen, typing something.

‘Hmm… I’m sorry, but we only have a single room left. Normally I’m not allowed to let two people book it, but I don’t want to send you guys out in this weather.’ Changkyun tried to capture Jooheon’s eyes, probably ready to leave.

‘We’ll take it.’ Jooheon said, before Changkyun could object. He quickly filled out the form and got the keys to the room. Only when Jooheon was unlocking their door, did Changkyun speak again.

‘Jooheon–’

‘I’ll take the floor. We can’t be outside right now, Changkyun. I’m not risking that.’ Changkyun was about to protest, but then he closed his mouth and nodded. Jooheon walked into the hotel room. It was a definitely single room, but the bed was plenty large. The floor, covered with itchy carpet, didn’t look particularly comfortable, but Jooheon was pretty sure he’d fall asleep just about anywhere by now.

 ‘I’m gonna freshen up.’ Changkyun said gravely, slipping into the bathroom and locking the door behind him. Jooheon was glad. They both probably needed some alone time. He sat down on the bed and texted his aunt that he wouldn’t be home tonight, as well as the address of the hotel. Considering the time, he might as well call his parents too. They’d probably be sitting at breakfast right now. He calmed his breathing before dialing his mother’s number.

‘Hey mom.’

‘Jooheon! Baby, what’s up? Are you at aunt Seoyun’s yet?’

‘No, I’m in a hotel right now. There’s a snowstorm going on.’

‘Oh no! Are you boys alright? I hope you didn’t drive through the snow, honey.’

‘No, we made it just in time. It- it took some convincing to get Changkyun off the road, but we’re safe.’ Jooheon’s voice cracked halfway through his sentence, feeling how tears spilled out again.

‘Thank god, honey. You made the right decision. I’m sure Changkyun will see that too.’ Jooheon sniffled, nodding.

‘I don’t want to fight with him, mom.’

‘I’m sure he doesn’t want to, either. It’s scary, being out there right now. He probably felt responsible for you.’ Jooheon wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he just let out an affirmative hum.

‘Your father and I are happy you’re safe, now go get some rest. You’ll feel better in the morning.’

‘Love you.’

‘You too, baby. Text us when you boys leave.’ With a click, she hung up the phone. Jooheon threw his phone on the bed, getting up to look out of the window. Barely anything’s visible, with the snow and the darkness. God, would they even be able to get out tomorrow? Would they’ve survived 5 more minutes on the road?

He didn’t have time to wonder too long, as he heard the bathroom door unlock. He wasn’t exactly ready to face Changkyun  yet, but he turned around anyway. Changkyun looked as much as a mess as Jooheon felt; water still splashed in his face, hair down, eyes tired. It was unfair, honestly, because Jooheon still thought he was beautiful. After the past hour, the only thing he really should have been feeling towards him was anger. Unfortunately, his foggy brain was already mentally writing poetry about the shape of Changkyun’s lips.

‘I’m sorry.’ Changkyun simply said, after a moment of silence. The air felt heavy, laced with hurt feelings and blunt words. They were facing each other, Changkyun fidgeting with his hands, Jooheon leaning against the windowsill.

‘Please don’t endanger us – or yourself – like that ever again.’ Jooheon said. ‘We’ll make it home, somehow.’ Changkyun stepped closer, hands dropping to his side. Jooheon just shook his head, pulling him into a tight hug. Changkyun breathed in deeply, like he’d been holding his breath. Jooheon felt the same, as if he stopped breathing the moment the weather notice dropped, maybe even since he stepped into the Toyota, only to gasp for air now, Changkyun’s arms wrapped around him.

‘The bed will fit the both of us, barely,’ Changkyun said, dragging Jooheon over, ‘Come on.’

Jooheon knew he should probably object, but he was too exhausted to actually do so. He let himself be dragged over to the bed, kicking off his shoes and pants. He took off his sweater too, seeing Changkyun lying down shirtless. It was a tight fit, but they snuggled close together, Changkyun pulling the covers up around them. Jooheon fell asleep to Changkyun’s soft breathing.

* * *

 When Jooheon woke up, it was still early. Like, fall asleep for a few more hours and then still wake up at a reasonable time-early. The first rays of sunlight were streaming in through cracks in their curtains, turning the room yellow. Any other time Jooheon might’ve been annoyed being woken up when he was still tired, especially as a result of shitty curtains. His body still ached from a day stuck in a car and his face felt puffy from crying. None of that really mattered anymore when turned to his side, waking up to Changkyun, pressed closed next to him and painted golden by rays of light. Every sign of tension had disappeared from his face, hand delicately lying on his chest and hair splayed out like halo on the white pillowcase. Seeing him like that, Jooheon briefly remembered stories about Apollo, and thought the sun god might’ve found a new home in Changkyun, glowing like gold. The world felt serene around them, it still being too early for anyone to be bustling around yet.

He reached over to the nightstand for his glasses, wanting to use this opportunity to study every detail of Changkyun’s face. He didn’t get the chance, unfortunately, as his stirring elected a groan from the body next to him. Changkyun frowned his eyebrows and slowly opened his eyes, blinking until his world came into focus.

‘Hi.’ Changkyun croaked. He smiled at Jooheon, all soft edges. Jooheon felt like he might just melt.

‘Hey.’ Jooheon whispered back. From the pit of his stomach, he could feel his body slowly filling with dread, seeping away at the warmth and serenity he’d felt waking up. He remembered last night, falling asleep near tangled with Changkyun, having been invited to share the bed. Their current predicament still required some touching just to fit, but it wasn’t anything crossing friendly territory. What if last night’s Changkyun was just okay  a sleep-deprived one? And the usual would be swinging his legs out of bed in a few seconds, not particularly interested in any more close contact? Jooheon knew that was the Changkyun he should expect: straight and not interested.

That was, until Changkyun reached out to rest a tentative hand on Jooheon’s waist. Jooheon took this as a sign to scoot closer. His face was just a few inches from Changkyun’s now, looking into his eyes with a slightly confused expression. Changkyun’s eyes flicked down to the his lips, staying there.  He then moved to nudge Jooheon’s nose, getting him to turn his head ever so slighty and– oh. Definitely not straight, definitely interested. Jooheon remembered to close his eyes, feeling lips pressed to his. With lips lightly chapped from the cold air, he didn’t think he had ever been kissed so tenderly before. He angled his head more, pressing closer– and Changkyun pulled back.

Jooheon opened his eyes, pouting. He reached up to tangle his hand in Changkyun’s hair, looking at him expectantly. Changkyun seemed to give in, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

‘Sorry. As much as I want to kiss you more, I just want to clear some stuff up first. I like you, Jooheon.’

‘Yeah. You too. A lot, if you hadn’t noticed,’ Changkyun smiled one of those soft smiles, moving his hand from Jooheon’s waist to cup his face.

‘Miya didn’t dump me because I was a bad boyfriend, she dumped me because I was in love with you,’ Things clicked into place for Jooheon. The reason Miya looked so upset, why Hyungwon was so insistent in setting them up again, Changkyun’s willingness to hang out with him.

‘Dude.’ Jooheon breathed out.

‘Are you dude-zoning me after I spilled my heart out?’ Changkyun said, dramatically grasping at his chest. Jooheon would roll his eyes, but he could only smile right now.

‘Changkyun, all this time, you had me thinking you were straight. I was so embarrassed about Hyungwon’s attempts to set us up! You knew the entire time!’

‘Hey. I didn’t know if you were into me.’

‘I’ve been staring at you this whole trip.’

‘Yeah, okay. Maybe I felt more sure come today.’ Jooheon smiled, turning his head to kiss Changkyun’s palm. If Changkyun looked at him with those fond eyes again, he might just die. So he kissed Changkyun like it could save his life.

It was nice, feeling Changkyun’s smile slowly fade into something more suited for kissing. Being able to put his hand in Changkyun’s hair, Changkyun’s hand trailing up and down his waist. Changkyun’s tongue inside his mouth, soft lips pressed against his jaw. He scooted even closer, a leg slipping between the other’s and a hand sliding up his back. The soft kisses Changkyun was pressing to his neck gradually became more intense, lingering in one spot. Jooheon could feel his breathing speeding up as something pressed against his leg. He tugged at Changkyun’s hair to get him to kiss his mouth again, eliciting a moan.

‘I didn’t know you were into hair-pulling,’ Jooheon said, in-between kisses.

‘You’ve still got a lot to learn, then,’ Changkyun said, shifting so he was hovering over Jooheon. He bit on Jooheon’s bottom lip, causing the other to groan as well, ‘Seems like I’m not the only one with preferences.’

Jooheon didn’t bother answering, just leaning in to kiss him roughly again. The dread from earlier had completely disappeared, now replaced with desire blooming in his lower abdomen. The earlier softness in Changkyun’s eyes had already become something he’d want to keep seeing, but the way Changkyun straddled his waist and slowly moved his mouth downwards incited a different, but still entirely welcome feeling. It was kind of overwhelming, honestly, to feel so many things at once. He stopped Changkyun from moving further downwards, voicing the thought to Changkyun.

‘You want to stop?’ Changkyun said, worry seeping into his voice. He sat upright, giving Jooheon space. Jooheon shook his head.

‘Not necessarily. Can we just, take it slow for a second?’ Jooheon said. Changkyun nodded and lay down next to him. Jooheon turned to face him, taking a moment to just breathe. He didn’t have to be afraid to study Changkyun’s features now, as he reaches over to trail a finger along his face. The cut of his cheekbones, the slope of his nose, the ridges in his lips. God, Changkyun was just so beautiful, with soft skin and a demeanour that was genuinely calming. All worries in his life would probably seem trivial if he’d stay in bed with Changkyun for a few hours. He cuddled up close to him, resting his head on Changkyun’s chest. Changkyun wrapped his arm around him, burying his nose in his hair. It was really weird to be lying in bed with the guy he’d been crushing on for months now; the one he thought he was straight until yesterday.

‘I feel really lucky right now,’ he said. Jooheon couldn’t have been more honest if he wanted to. With Changkyun’s heartbeat sounding steady in his eardrum, and a warm hand drawing circles on his back, he couldn’t think of a place he would rather be.

‘You’re not the only one, sweetheart.’ Jooheon smiled at the endearment, knowing Changkyun could feel his face change against his chest. ‘Like right now, your dimples when you smile? I think Hyungwon’s gotten sick of how much I talk about them.’

‘Happy I’m not the only sap in this relationship,’ Jooheon said, before drawing in a breath and grabbing Changkyun’s free hand to entangle their fingers. He couldn’t even imagine a scenario like this a few months ago, drunk and heartbroken and just generally lonely.

‘Hyungwon dragged me out to a club the day you got a girlfriend, y’know?’ Jooheon started. They’d took some others with them too; Hoseok had tried to get him to dance, but he’d yelled something back about how he always used to dance with Changkyun, before downing another drink. It was embarrassing, looking back on it. Then again, it was already embarrassing the morning after.

‘Mhh. He would.’

‘Yeah. He called me out on my ‘sad gay bullshit’ when I still went on about it a week later too.’

‘Yeah, that seems similar to the time he threw his Psych book at me when I told him I might not be straight. Something about being dense came along with it,’ Changkyun said, frowning.

‘The 900 page one? Okay, he must’ve been really frustrated.’ Changkyun snorted, dragging Jooheon on top of him.

‘But I’m glad he got us to hang out together. I like you so, so much,’ he said, as Jooheon looked at him from above, face caged between his elbows. Changkyun was talking softly, like he didn’t mean for anyone but Jooheon to hear his words. Jooheon kissed him softly in response, trying to convey that he knew what Changkyun meant.  He felt the same, after all.

* * *

Somewhere between their kisses and Jooheon forcibly turning Changkyun over so he was the big spoon for once, they’d dozed off again. This time it was Changkyun that’d woken up first, who’d been gently poking Jooheon’s cheek till he woke up as well. The sun was properly out now, the curtains about as useful as a few squares of cling film. Jooheon snuggled back into Changkyun’s chest to save his eyes from burning up.

‘Babe,’ Changkyun said, stroking Jooheon’s hair, ‘if we aren’t downstairs in 25 minutes we’ll miss breakfast.’ Jooheon groaned, rolling over and then continuing to roll out of bed, literally. Changkyun had the decency to look concerned for about 2 seconds, then stepped out of bed himself.

‘I claim first shower!’ He said, while sprinting off to the bathroom. Jooheon decided to let him have this victory (the bathroom door was locked, so it wasn’t like he _couldn’t_ let him have this) and picked up his glasses, taking his time to get up off the ground. The room also had a standing mirror, so Jooheon could at least sort of fix parts of his appearance. Once he got close enough, he noticed some purple spots blooming on his necks. Changkyun… really couldn’t control his mouth. That was sure going to be fun to explain to his aunt. Maybe he could blame it on some very aggressive hail. Overall, he looked a mess, with hair sticking up on all sides, lips swollen and an imprint of the pillow on his cheek. He didn’t particularly look forward to wearing yesterday’s clothes, either. He rubbed his eyes and combed his fingers through his hair, trying to make himself look somewhat presentable.

He wandered over to the window when he was done. It would be nice to have a white Christmas, but he’d also like to be not snowed in. Fortunately, the snow had in part melted, leaving only a small layer on the ground. Still enough that a grumpy-looking employee was shovelling snow off the sidewalk, but he was pretty sure they’d make it out of the hotel. It’d be nice to walk in the garden now, too, with all the trees covered in a white and the small pond partly frozen over. If their families weren’t waiting for them, he might’ve tried to convince Changkyun to stick around for a while.

The bathroom door unlocked, Changkyun walking out. Jooheon turned around and gulped. Changkyun had decided to come out with nothing but a towel riding low on his hips. Of course, he once again looked like a god. Jooheon felt like a crumpled stress ball,  so he might’ve felt jealous, but right now he was busy just staring at him. Sure, they’d been asleep with barely anything on, but it was something else to see Changkyun standing there, nearly inviting Jooheon to ogle. Soft stomach, smooth skin, hipbones poking out… Jooheon would really like to kiss him again, but he knew they wouldn’t leave the room before breakfast if he did.

‘The bathroom’s free, Jooheon.’ Changkyun said, a smirk splayed on his features. Jooheon made sure to steal his towel (Changkyun let out an offended yelp when he did) before locking himself in the bathroom.

* * *

They’d made it in time for breakfast, barely, which meant that they were both piling grotesque amounts of lukewarm food on their plates. They were also subtly piling said food into their bags to save for lunch. Changkyun also got two cups of coffee – not for the both of them, as he’d sent Jooheon back to the buffet to get his own.

‘I can’t believe this is our first proper breakfast date and you’re downing two cups of coffee. Without even getting me one.’ Jooheon complained, setting his own cup down.

‘Hyungwon bails on breakfast with the three of us nearly every month, you’ve lost first date privilege,’ Changkyun said, taking a bite of a questionable eggs and cucumber combo, ‘You’re also –not subtly– stuffing your bag with croissants, are you really in a position to judge?’

‘Excuse you, I’m providing for our lunch. I’d prefer to get home without stopping more than strictly needed.’

‘You don’t wanna spend more time with me, then?’

‘We both know that more hours in a car together are not beneficial to this relationship. Also, my aunt is waiting with tiramisu in the fridge and I’d like to eat it as soon as possible.’

‘Hey. It got us here,’ Changkyun said, resting his hand on top of Jooheon’s.

‘Babe, that’s cute but I’m gonna need that hand back if I’m going to eat this banana peeled.’ Changkyun let go off his hand, pretending to be offended. He ended up resting his chin on his hand instead.

‘Seriously, though. Do you want to come over for new year’s? My brother and fiancée are throwing a party at our house to celebrate, we’d be welcome. I could come pick you up from your aunt’s.’ Jooheon set down his banana, assessing the severity of the invitation.

‘You want me to meet you family already? I mean, are we even dating?’

‘I mean. I don’t have to introduce you as my boyfriend if you don’t want to, but yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.’ Changkyun smiled shyly. Jooheon briefly looked around, and when no one was paying attention to them, Jooheon press a chaste kiss to Changkyun’s lips.

‘Okay. Introduce me as your boyfriend, then.’

* * *

Jooheon unbuckled his seatbelt, turning to face the driver’s seat. Changkyun looked tired again, but not as exhausted as last night. Their drive went by much more smoothly today, having less distance left to cover and way better weather conditions. Jooheon was afraid the roads would be slippery nonetheless, but it seemed like the highway department was aware of the dangers of the treacherous turns and had dumped plenty of road salt everywhere.

‘Thank you for the ride, Changkyun.’ He said, smiling at him. It might’ve been a bit of an understatement, but he felt like Changkyun knew what he meant. This hadn’t exactly been the most conventional road trip; he’d never ended up with a boyfriend at the end of one before.

‘You’re welcome. Listen, uh,’ Changkyun said, looking conflicted, ‘I’m still sorry for yelling at you when you said we should pull over, yesterday night. You were right.’ Jooheon sighed.

‘Please don’t beat yourself up over that, Changkyun. We were both tired, and we ended up safe in the end.’ Jooheon tugged Changkyun’s hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to it. Changkyun responded by dragging Jooheon’s head closer and kissing him.

‘I’m glad we can do this, finally,’ Jooheon mumbled.

‘I’m glad you’re coming over this week. I can’t believe I finally get to kiss you, and then I don’t see you for nearly two weeks.’

‘You’re needy.’

‘You’re cute.’ Jooheon shook his head, but couldn’t repress a smile. He kissed Changkyun one last time, before getting out of the passenger door.

‘Happy holidays, Changkyun.’

‘You too, babe.’

* * *

[To: Hyungwon, 23:33]

gnight

[Image attached]

[From: Hyungwon, 23:45]

fgdfgsg

kfkdsjgdggfsd excuse me??????

are those,, hickeys?? whomst,,,,,

tell me everything

[From: Hyungwon, 23:58]

u cant just drop shit like that and vanish

jooheon dickwad answer me

i practically set u guys up this is no way to treat me

[From: Hyungwon, 00:29]

im requesting a roommate transfer

**Author's Note:**

> i started this before christmas but it went on way longer than i planned and now we're way into 2019. oh well, happy new year still, hope 2019 treats you well!
> 
> thx to retorra for beta-ing this for me, you're the best
> 
> thank u for reading! hope u enjoyed! hmu on my [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/volfaai) or [ tumblr](https://volfai.tumblr.com) to yell about mx/jookyun w me


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